6/Sitting With Your Emotions: You’re the Medicine

"You are the medicine."

We often hear phrases like “you must sit with your emotions” from therapists, healers, and spiritual teachers. But rarely is it explained why this matters or what it truly means.

It sounds simple enough, but when you’re in the middle of sadness, fear, or anger, it can feel like the last thing you want to do. And yet, sitting with our emotions is one of the most powerful steps toward healing.

Think of it like being stuck at a dinner table with people you don’t particularly enjoy. You can’t leave—you just have to sit through it. And eventually, the dinner ends. Similarly, emotions rise, peak, and eventually pass. By being present with them rather than resisting, judging, or trying to fix anything, we allow our nervous system to experience these waves fully and learn from them.

Why Sitting With Emotions Matters

Emotions are neurochemical and physiological responses that naturally rise, peak, and pass. Research shows that emotions last about 90 seconds in the body. This means that the intense bodily sensations of fear, anger, sadness, or anxiety are brief by nature.

The challenge arises when we ruminate, overthink, or tell stories about our emotions—this keeps the neurochemical loop active, prolonging the emotional experience and creating unnecessary stress. By naming, observing, and allowing our emotions, we can respect their natural duration and gradually expand our nervous system’s capacity to hold them.

Every part of you, every emotion, every impulse is already working to support your growth and healing. Therapy doesn’t “fix” you; it provides a compassionate container where your emotions can emerge safely, be witnessed, and integrate.

When we approach emotions as messengers rather than obstacles, we recognise that you already hold the medicine within yourself. Each feeling, each wave, is part of the system guiding you toward clarity, resilience, and self-understanding.

This is the sacred space I hold for you as a therapist—a container where everything can surface safely, a pause between the waves of your emotions where insight, healing, and transformation naturally arise. The true magic of therapy lies in this in-between space: a rare opportunity to fully experience anger, release tears, or explore any emotion without judgment, while being completely supported and held throughout the process.

Emotions as Guides

Emotions are signposts, providing insight into our inner needs, boundaries, and desires. Learning to listen to them allows us to act consciously rather than react habitually.

Anger

Anger signals boundaries that have been crossed, either within yourself or with others. By acknowledging it fully, you can see where self-care, protection, or assertive action is needed.

Reflection prompts for anger:

• Where am I feeling anger—outward, inward, or both?

• Where have my boundaries been crossed?

• What action or self-care is needed to honor my boundaries?

Depression

Depression often arises from unmet needs or suppressed feelings. Giving it voice allows it to be acknowledged rather than buried, revealing what your heart truly needs.

Reflection prompts for depression:

• What emotions or needs have I been avoiding?

• How can I express these feelings safely?

• What truths might emerge if I sit with this feeling fully?

Anxiety

Anxiety signals a need for safety, grounding, or clarity. It may indicate discomfort or a call to action. As Brené Brown notes, anxiety often feels very similar to fear, inviting reflection: Where is the link? What is this emotion asking me to notice or do?

Reflection prompts for anxiety:

• What am I worrying about, and which aspects are within my control?

• Where in my body do I feel tension or unease?

• What is this anxiety guiding me to see, prepare for, or change?

Fear

Fear is the body signaling uncertainty or potential risk. By sitting with fear, we can notice where we feel unsafe, resisting, or overthinking.

Fear and faith often feel nearly identical in the body—the difference lies in the label. Recognizing fear is the first step toward transforming it into courage, clarity, or trust.

Reflection prompts for fear:

• What am I afraid of right now?

• Where in my body do I feel this fear?

• How might this fear guide me toward faith, courage, or action?

• What small step can I take despite the fear?

Practical Ways to Work With Emotions

1. Pause and Breathe: Take 3–5 deep, conscious breaths and notice sensations in your body.

2. Name It: Silently or aloud, identify the emotion. This reduces intensity and prevents rumination.

3. Observe the 90-Second Window: Allow the emotion to rise and pass naturally. Avoid creating a narrative around it.

4. Move Your Body: Gentle stretching, yoga, or walking helps process neurochemical energy.

5. Journal Your Experience: Writing helps reflect, gain insight, and notice patterns. Use the prompts above for guidance.

Sitting with your emotions isn’t about a quick fix—it’s about engaging with honesty, vulnerability, and compassion. Behind discomfort lies clarity, support, and the profound recognition that you already hold the medicine within yourself.

By giving your emotions space, naming them, and reflecting on what they reveal, you can transform inner turbulence into insight, resilience, and growth.